The Sunday Deck Bass

Mother’s Day or not, it’s time for the infamous DB Sunday Deck Bass; that highly unsought, utterly uncoveted, award from northern Nevada acknowledging the flipping and flopping of major figures in American contemporary life.

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) secures our first nomination for an explanation of Roadblock Republican filibusters so tangled it conjures images of Boy Scout knot-tying practice sessions. The details are available at the Carpetbagger Report.

A nomination goes to Secretary of Defense Robert Gates who approved the appointment of Major Gen. Jay W. Hood to be the senior American commander based in Pakistan. This may have seemed like a perfectly good idea – initially. After two months worth of consultation the Pentagon quietly canceled Hood’s assignment. What was the problem? Several Pakistani military leaders and diplomats were upset that the U.S. was sending into their country a former commander of the Guantanamo military prison. [NYT]

The Federal Bureau of Investigation gets a collective nomination for its performance in regard to those handy National Security Letters it is fond of scattering about like so many Rumsfeld Snowflake Memos. The EFF and the ACLU have announced that the agency has rescinded another challenged letter, in this instance to the Internet Archive, after objections were raised. [TPMM] “Every time an NSL has been challenged in court, the FBI has backed off, said Melissa Goodman, an ACLU staff attorney. "That calls into question how much the FBI needed the information in the first place, and finally, whether the FBI needs this kind of sweeping and unchecked surveillance power." [WaPo] (emphasis added) “FBI Assistant Director John Miller said the information requested in the Internet Archive NSL was "relevant to an ongoing, authorized national security investigation." NSLs, he said, "remain indispensable tools for national security investigations and permit the FBI to gather the basic building blocks for our counterterrorism and counterintelligence investigations." [WaPo] – Unless, of course, someone asks why it was indispensable?

President George W. Bush gets a nomination this week for his enthusiastic endorsement of the so-called economic stimulus tax rebate checks. The President, however, forgot about some members of the 10^th Mountain Division, 2^nd BCT, 1-89 Cavalry, who were told last April that 3 months was going to be tacked on to their deployment, and now have been informed by the IRS that “they haven’t earned enough money to qualify for the economic stimulus check.” [Crooks & Liars] Thus much for “support the troops?”

The Republican National Committee definitely gets a Deck Bass nomination for its performance concerning the disclosure of presidential candidate spousal tax returns. Remember way back on April 27, 2004 when the outfit demanded that Teresa Heinz Kerry release her returns because, “Americans value disclosure and transparency in campaigns.” Now, maybe not so much. [AAP] After Mrs. McCain’s performance on the Today Show [video link] what do we get from the RNC about Cindy McCain’s absolute, total, complete, final refusal to release her returns? “The Sounds of Silence.” [Perrs]

Representative John Tanner (D-TN) founder of the Blue Dog Democrats who is fond of asserting his “fiscal responsibility” to any and all who might be paying attention, earns a Deck Bass nomination for his opposition to the New G.I. Bill (Webb version) because it’s too expensive ($72 million) and there is no ‘offset.’ However, Rep. Tanner is perfectly willing to support President Bush’s Iraq Supplemental Funding bill to authorize $200 billion off the books to continue the occupation. [The Hill] via [Digby] Cognitive Dissonance anyone?

Another member of the “Family-Values Party” earns his nomination for his spectacular performance in what could easily be a nice Soap Opera plot line. Staten Island Representative Vito J. Fossella, Jr. (R-NY) Rep. Fossella made his mark in Congress by voting to impeach President Clinton, eliminate financing for Planned Parenthood, and supporting the adoption of a constitutional amendment against gay marriage. But, the plot thickens. Fossella was recently arrested after sailing through a red light (plot point 1) in Alexandria, VA and, being a bit (plot point 2) “three sheets to the wind,” was retrieved (plot point 3) from police custody by his mistress. He explains (plot point 4) that he was going to see his little daughter, which precipitates (plot point 5) questions in his home town about What Daughter? His office releases a short statement (plot point 6) to the effect that there really is a ‘love-child’ daughter from this extra-marital affair. [NYT] Now, Newsday reports that (plot point 7) Fossella’s wife is considering divorce, and there are calls (plot point 8) for the Congressman to resign. [AP] The Congressman goes into seclusion to ponder his fate (plot point 9) [NY1] Speculation runs rampant about whether the Congressman will resign on Monday (plot point 10). [WNBC] Ten plot points worth of material should keep this Soap in episodes for the next entire broadcast season. Rep. Fossella probably doesn’t need a Deck Bass; this thing could earn him a Daytime Emmy.

And the winner is ….. The Mother’s Day Sunday Deck Bass is awarded to Secretary Robert Gates and his Department of Defense for managing a flipper-flopper with international implications securely founded upon some of the most egregiously unconstitutional Bush Administration policy decisions in the sad history of this sorry regime, and one that offers outstanding evidence that this Administration if profoundly tone-deaf.

As always, check to see if there are additional award winners in the Great American Finned Follies such as the possibility of a Sunday Crappie, or a great Minnesota Eel Pout. Senator John McCain’s flipping and flopping transcends the boundaries of mere Deck Bass, and therefore we will see him again as he continues his Weasel Wagon ride in subsequent posts.